Insomnia

Last few nights have been different….different in essence, different in experience and in understanding. Days were different too….but you don’t much get the time to experience the difference as the mundane rigmaroles of life keep you occupied. Days are much heavy they captivate the soul while nights with their peace and quietude liberate it. A liberty that let the turmoil and stress of the spirit sink in and insightful understanding prevail. My attainment of understanding occurred in one of these nights in a delectable experience that surmounted to be an epiphany.

In the last few nights I have befriended the twinkling trinkets that throng the night sky decking it up as a decorous damsel. My lack of knowledge in astronomy kept me from identifying them with their real names. But that didn’t come in the way of our building the bond as I christened them with new ones and they didn’t seem to mind. Once the magic of camaraderie started working we became confidants with our own secret omens of omerta and incognito. Not a single body (earthly or celestial) should know about our tryst- was the oath we took with all our vigor. And maintaining the code of conduct it’s only when absolute solitude prevails that our coterie carefully convenes. I now know each one by the names given by me and they know me by name and much more. Each meeting mounts to be a celebration of the spirit in a performance that balms all my earthly torments. Every night the masquerade of the hoary dazzlers wait for the opportune moment to stage their performance only for me. Sometimes it’s a ballet sometimes it’s a simple ballad-just as will suit my sweet disposition. “How do they foresee my mood?” I often wondered….until the other night when the star I secretly call my alter ego told me,” each one of us are actually part of you….if I am your alter ego others are your thoughts, believes, passions, romance, dreams, hatred, love, lust, longings and so on. It’s the microcosmic self to self chemistry that synchronizes us with the macrocosmic self that’s you. Hence the harmony.”  Harmony it is, exceedingly so. We harmonize to a Tee. And the harmony reaches its acme at those nights when the star resembling my passion sets the aerial stage on fire. It mingles with the fire that burns within me and creates a fascinating firework show that only I have the fortune to witness.

Each night now I wait in anticipation for the show to begin ceremoniously and then to end in a satiating manner quenching all my desires. As they leave they take with them a part of me and leave behind a part of infinity that they embody, thus enlightening me with the profound understanding that I am infinity and infinity is me. If loosing sleep means this I am prepared to spend the rest of my nights in such magnificent merriment.  

Baishali Mukherjee